Sue Kennedy » Self Belief

How to be more optimistic

Sue — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 09:28:51 +0000

SMILE AND THE WORLD SMILES WITH YOU

If you smile AT people, they usually smile back. Growl and be grumpy and watch them scowl instead. Research shows that facial expressions and the moods that accompany them are contagious, probably because they evolved as a means of nonverbal communication between people. You can use the infectious effects of a smile to jump-start an optimistic outlook in yourself by sending others what you want them to lob back at you. A kind word to the person behind the counter can get your day bouncing in the right direction.

SHORT-CIRCUIT PESSIMISM

A very important reason for putting on a happy face: It influences your brain in a positive way. In one study, subjects who were asked to hold a pen in their mouth (causing them to inadvertently make the facial muscle movements characteristic of a smile) rated cartoons to be funnier than did other subjects, even though they were unaware that it was the smile that was boosting their reaction. There’s an interesting biological reason for this effect: When you feel down, your brain tells your face you’re sad and your facial muscles respond by putting on a depressed expression—and convey back to the brain that, yes, you’re feeling depressed. Consciously changing the facial muscles so they don’t correspond to what you’re feeling is a way of sending a different message: “Hey, it’s not so bad down here after all.” The brain will respond by beginning to change your mood accordingly. Your physiology drives your emotions.

EXPLAIN SUCCESS AND FAILURE LIKE AN OPTIMIST TO BECOME AN OPTIMIST!

Research shows that it’s not what happens that determines your mood but how you explain what happens that counts. If an optimist encounters a computer program she can’t figure out, she’s likely to say, “Either the manual is unclear or this program is hard or maybe I’m having an off day.” The optimist keeps the failure outside herself (“the manual”), specific (“this program”), and temporary (“an off day”), while the pessimist would make it internal, global, and permanent. When success occurs optimists say, “Of course dinner turned out; I’m a good cook,” while pessimists say, “Boy, was I lucky today,” literally snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. If you start to speak to yourself in a more positive way when you succeed and fail, you’ll gradually become more optimistic.

BE GLAD YOU ARE YOU

It’s easy to be envious: Compare yourself to those with thinner thighs and fatter bank accounts and you’ll always come up wanting—and pessimistic. But the corollary is also true: No matter how bad things get, there’s always someone who’s worse off. In one simple study, subjects were randomly divided into two subgroups. One group was to finish the sentence “I wish I were a ______.” The other was asked to complete the sentence “I’m glad I’m not a ______.” When individuals rated their sense of satisfaction with their lives before and after this task, those who completed the “I’m glad I’m not a ______” sentence were significantly more satisfied than before.

LEARN TO SHIFT YOUR FOCUS

Pessimists can’t stop depressing facts or negative thoughts from poking into their consciousness but they can choose not to dwell on them. The often stated question – is the glass half full or half empty. Both are correct. However where is your focus? This active self-direction of your own moment-to-moment perspective allows you to create a new life story, one in which you take charge of your emotions and actions. Since research shows that those who feel they have a better sense of control tend to be the most optimistic, why not take charge of where your psychological lens is focused?

Add gratitude as well. Focus on the glass being half full and add several parts of thankfulness for the good in your life and you will become more optimistic instantly.

Understand Yourself First

Sue — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 10:03:25 +0000

MOTIVATION – UNDERSTAND YOURSELF FIRST

To help you get to know yourself find out whether you are motivated by moving towards a goal or away from a certain situation. This comes down to pain vs pleasure.

Pain people wait until the situation is SO bad, the bank balance is in the red, they become ill or their relationships are suffering.

While pleasure people will make sure they are always comfortable with the amount of money they have, the take care of their diets and exercise to ensure good health and address situations in their relationships as they occur.

So ask yourself a questions. What do you want from your holiday?

If your reply is – I am so tired I need to relax and recharge my batteries or similar – you could be an away from person.

On the other hand if you say – I am looking forward to experiencing the sun, food and nature in the country. This may show you to be a towards person.

Why bother you may ask? This is important in goal setting. You need to know whether you are motivated by pleasure or pain when setting your goals. A combination of both is excellent but remember to add the relevant aspect to your goals setting now you have found out where your motivation comes from.

Good luck. Let me know how well you get on: sue@suekennedy.com.

Gratitude

Sue — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 18:58:28 +0000

Taking a few minutes every day to be grateful for what we have really makes us feel so much better. When Christopher Reeve was interviewed after his accident he said that when he could just get up and cross the floor and open a door he never gave his movements a moment’s thought. Now he said I would give anything just to be able to stand up.

How often do we take stock of all the wonderful things in our lives. Really think about our lungs, our heart, those we love and the fact that we live in a country where we have running water and a clean bed to sleep in at night.

If you ever feel a little down as the year draws to a close remember that you are a millionaire in many economies. Remember all the amazing things you have to be thankful for.

So every morning start the day (as you clean or teeth, shower or have breakfast) with thanks. Thank you.